Chapter 7 – The Unexpected

“Om Sainathaya Namaha” 

“Sometimes things we cannot change, end up changing us” 

Day One – I was very scared, depressed, confused and lost. I didn’t know what would happen next; with a myriad of emotions, I reached the hospital. 

Story of the “Mask” 

To administer radiation to the affected area a fibre mesh cover is prepared to the exact size of the affected area to hold this area tightly in place so that there is no movement during radiation. 

The preparation of this mask was a claustrophobic experience for me as the mask was supposed to cover my entire face up unto the shoulders. 

This mesh is a rectangular piece of perforated fibre which was first heated in boiling water to make it supple, then it was placed over my face; starting from the forehead, continuing onto my neck, and to the shoulders. Two assistants then pressed and moulded it to the profile of my forehead, face, neck and shoulders and clamped it tight while it was still pretty warm (it would not take the desired shape otherwise), then left it to cool off and set into the desired shape. I felt as if I am being strangulated and as if I would stop breathing any minute. The doctor had informed me before starting this process, that if I felt discomfort (they could remove the clamps within seconds if needed) I should raise my right hand and I promptly did so, the doctor immediately appeared by my side and asked me,what the issue was? I asked, “I am feeling choked, how much more time will it take before this mesh sets in shape?”, He replied, “10 minutes more”. I said, “I cannot hold on that long” to which he replied saying, “feeling of choking is only a passing sensation, you will be fine in a second, however if you insist I will remove this now, but we will have to repeat the entire process from the beginning and it will take the same amount of time, how do you want me to go ahead?” and I said “leave it I will put up with this till it gets done”. 

I hated this process from the bottom of my heart and these earlier events only added to my distress that increased as the seconds ticked by. Never had I been so anxious and gripped with fear as I was on day one of the radiation. 

The mask is placed in position and clamped such that I would not be able to move even a muscle on my face during the 90 seconds of radiation. Placing and removing the mask and positioning my face in exact position for receiving radiation took anywhere between 7 to 10 minutes every time. This continued for next six weeks, every day, five days a week. This was scary, depressing and painful at times. 

The only reasons I could sustain through the six weeks of this treatment:

1. The presence of my loved ones next to me during every day, every moment of these 6 weeks. 

2. The prayers and the blessings of my Inner & Outer circle. 

3. Most importantly, I kept chanting Shri Sai’s name continuously during the entire duration of my treatment. This gave me strength and patience to endure this treatment till the end. 
   

Surprise Life. 

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL