Chapter 12 – Thoughts…contd….

“Om Sainathaya Namaha” 

Two nice quotable quotes to start with: 

“Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory” …..Anonymous 

“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a Grand Thing” ……Agatha Christie 

During these past 10 months I have experienced change in my health almost on a daily basis which were both painful and frustrating, these changes made me depressed and cranky as I tried to figure out the causes and constantly look for remedies. Finally, one fine day I just decided to ignore these changes as if they were non-existent and diverted my attention to listening to music and continuously chanting “Sai Gayathri” which my brother Karthik taught me during my treatment days in Hyderabad. This gave me a lot of peace and calmness. I observed the changes would come stay for a few days and then just vanish as suddenly as they had occurred. I realized if I had allowed my thoughts and brain to take over, I would be busy visiting doctors and hospitals. Some of these changes I list here: 

1. Boils on my back. Painful. Stayed for a week then disappeared. 

2. Boil on my chest. Painful. Stayed for a week then disappeared. 

3. Boil on my lips. Painful. Stayed for about 2 weeks then disappeared. 

4. Swelling below my jaw. Radiation side effect went in about 6 weeks. 

5. Bleeding in upper teeth gums. Stayed for a week then disappeared. 

I do not have any of the above conditions today and I have not consulted any doctor or taken any medication for this. I am not advocating here that one should not consult a doctor or take necessary medication, I am just stating my personal approach to the above issues and one that worked for me. 

I did approach my maxillofacial surgeon for repeated adjustment of my prosthesis for a period of 3 weeks. This was due to the contraction of the mouth tissues which happened at a rapid pace and my prosthesis would not fit until modified. However, this too settled down after 3 weeks. 

While I was on path to recovery and feeling better as time passed my thoughts and my brain started working furiously on business of earning a livelihood and financially supporting my family. As usual I had to re-learn this lesson, “There is and always was a plan in place by the Creator for conduct of affairs of my life” I was asked by my prospective employer to come for an interview and finalization of terms of employment on a Tuesday, I landed up a day in advance on Monday and informed my availability to meet him on Tuesday. I was told that due to some urgent work he would be able to meet me only on Wednesday, my return flight and hotel checkout were all planned for Wednesday. All my well made plans went for a toss and brain started working overtime creating self doubts and ifs and buts as usual. I finally extended my stay till end of day on Thursday and as predestined the meeting happened on Thursday and everything went off smoothly. 

One more interesting event took place, since meeting was on Thursday I decided (Sainath Planned) I will visit Sai temple before I go for the meeting. I received meeting confirmation at 9:30 am for the meeting at 10:30 am in Bandra Kurla Complex. I was near the domestic air terminal, and it was peak time. I immediately left, by the time I got into a taxi 9:39 am and as usual my brain started creating possibilities, whether decision (I am still full of I, I, I) to go to the Sai temple was prudent? how will I reach on time for the interview? How can I be so stupid? Why did I not plan the Sai temple visit after the interview? with all these thoughts I reached the Sai temple by 9:53 am once I entered the temple my brain just stopped its exercise and peace and calmness engulfed me. I was in the temple till 10:10 am. I have visited this Sai temple many times during my earlier trips to Mumbai. It takes about 20 minutes from here to BKC during peak hours. This Thursday it took exactly 7 minutes to reach BKC, I reached the meeting venue by 10:20 am, 10 minutes to spare. My prospective employer arrived by 11:00 am!! 

Now comes the icing on the cake, when I returned to Bangalore and shared this news with my life, my wife, she looked at me with a sweet smile and said this: 

"You work to the best of your ability, do not strain yourself with the thought that you have to support me and our daughters, even if you are not able to work, we will still figure out a way to live as long as you are with us. That is all that matters"

I had tears streaming down my eyes and was speechless. I felt like I had finally arrived. “Om Sai Ram” 

Thoughtful Life. 

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL